Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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