With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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