He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
