then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
