So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
