yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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