remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize