I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
