Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Randomize
