Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
