The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
