Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
