he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize