What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
