margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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