Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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