I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
