We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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