Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
