New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
lol hangovers are for mortals.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
