what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
