the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize