tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
