Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
