the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
