Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
