You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
