so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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