Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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