I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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