And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
