for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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