Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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