If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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