Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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