she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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