I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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