Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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