That's intense
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
