we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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