youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
