i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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