I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
