When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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