take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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