can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.