I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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