So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.