i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
