It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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