I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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