also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
