I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
This toilet bowl is my home.
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