yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
