I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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