you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
