Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i may or may not be watching the land before time
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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