I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
