She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
