Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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