UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
All I want is dick and wine.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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