you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i think we sleep fucked last night...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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