The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Everything about him screamed your future.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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