I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
