Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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