Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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