Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
